Halika 3.0

BELO THE BELT

THIS MAY BE THE CAMPAIGN SEASON but nobody can stop me from writing about every Filipino’s favorite pastime: Kris Aquino.

An overly-distressed Kris Aquino was rushed to the hospital after having a series of “false labor.” The stress was caused by rumors of her husband James Yap’s infidelity and her recent spat with gossip columnist Cristy Fermin. Whenever Kris is near Yap or Fermin, the baby just starts kicking.

A former female employee at the Belo Medical Clinic has surfaced and revealed sordid details of her 10-month illicit sexual affair with Kris Aquino’s husband, cager James Yap. The affair reportedly started in March 2006 when Yap visited the clinic. He asked for a facial; she gave him a head.

“Hope,” a former employee of Dr. Vicky Belo, confirmed that she had an affair with James Yap. Whenever her boss is out of the clinic, “lumuluhod siya nang walang Belo.”

In her phonebook, according to Hope, she uses the code name “Big Bird” for James Yap. When she’s naked, he becomes Sesame Straight!

Asked how she and James managed to have sex inside a small cubicle at the Belo Medical Clinic, Hope replied, “Dog style.” When the sexual act is over, Big Bird becomes Snoopy.

James Yap’s camp has reportedly appealed to GMA 7’s showbiz-oriented show Startalk not to air its exclusive interview with “Hope” tomorrow, Saturday. If the show decides to cancel the interview, Hope considers asking the network to air her story on “Wish Ko Lang.”

Top 5 Tell-Tale Signs that James Yap Is Indeed Cheating on Kris Aquino

5: From Marlboro, he suddenly switched to Hope.

4: Going out alone becomes too often. And whenever a very pregnant Kris asks him where he is going, he would always reply, “May practice.”

3: Kris would always receive a call from a Belo Medical Clinic staff saying, “Ma’am, naiwan na naman po ni Sir James ang brief niya dito. Pa-pick up na lang po.”

2: Whenever he makes love with Kris, James doesn’t moan. He chirps.

1: Whenever he sees a dog, he tells Kris: “Baby, pa-facial muna ako. Bye!”

from PEx

Without saying much, Kris tells the whole nation that there’s something wrong with her relationship with James Yap. Check the body language. But since it’s election time, the Aquino family are maximizing James’ fluency with the Visayan languages so kasama muna siya sa pangangampanya. Makakasama ni James si Cory para tulungan si Noynoy sa mga gitnang isla ng Pilipinas. Noynoy is also supported by Erap. Whoaa!

Anyway, for James Yap, there’s always hope. I mean Hope. Di pa sila ni Kris may Hope na eh. Kaya araw-araw siyang nagpapa-facial sa Belo Medical kasi ayaw niyang mawalan ng Hope. They say it’s the reason why Kris and Vicki aren’t in speaking terms with each other.

Teka, buntis din daw si Hope Centeno?

Hopia and Big Bird

Dug from the Buzz (last Sunday: James Yap was interviewed. Di sila nagpansinan ni Kris), 24 Oras (last night: Kris was interviewed) and this Saturday on StarTalk (the alleged relationship between the Purefoods basketball player and the Belo Medical employee).

If someone in the past borrows from folk or pop culture, he shouldn’t be invoking intellectual property right. There’s this thing we call prior art.

Lito Camo gave a warning in TV Patrol: He said he has given only one politician (Zubiri) the “exclusive rights” to use “his” song as campaign jingle and will sue anyone else who uses it without his permission.

But is Boom Tarat Tarat just his song? Check the tune of The Farmer in the Dell and A Hunting We Will Go, both traditional children’s songs. Lito Camo had always been borrowing from pop and folk culture. Bulaklak’s chorus borrowed heavily from an action song that kids play on the streets, for one. And the phrase “boom tarat tarat” is from a Boy Scout chant / camp fire song.

Topic Name: Boy Scout chant “Boom Tarat”
Topic Description: Just want to inquire if it is correct to say that the popular Willie Revillame (Lito Camo) song “Boom Tarat” was taken from one of the camping chants of the boy scouts. I believe I have had heard and chanted this before during my scouting years.

Read the replies here:

Sampling is a common thing nowadays. But claiming that you what you don’t is a different thing.

sampling is the act of taking a portion of one sound recording and reusing it as an instrument or element of a new recording.

The funny thing is, the politicians believed him. Kasi si Zubiri nga lang ang nag-bu-boom-tarat-tarat!

Zubiri campaign video at YouTube

And here’s more:

Padyak sa kanan,
Padyak sa kaliwa
Umikot ng umikot at humanap ng iba.

By the way, whatever happened to the case of Chandeliers and Pinoy Ako?

Visit OscarTorrents:

To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you — but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we’re only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn’t us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping.

You haven’t beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn’t involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can’t keep a film in focus — not to mention insulting your audiences by (to pick a few examples) surveilling us with nightvision glasses, searching bags, 30 minutes of commercials and bombarding us with ridiculous anti-piracy propaganda. Take a look at yourselves. Is it really any wonder we’re winning?

Bulaklak
Lyrics and music by Lito Camo
Performed by Viva Hot Babes

Ang bango-bango, ang bango-bango
Ang bango-bango ng bulaklak
‘Pag inaamoy, ‘pag inaamoy
‘Pag inaamoy anong sarap
Ang bango-bango, ang sarap-sarap
Amuyin ang bulaklak

Ang laki-laki, ang laki-laki
Ang laki-laki ng bulaklak
Ang pula-pula, ang pula-pula
Ang pula-pula ng bulaklak
Ang laki-laki, ang pula-pula
Ng kulay ng bulaklak

CHORUS
Bubuka ang bulaklak, papasok ang reyna
Sasayaw ng Cha-Cha, ang saya-saya
Boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ye-ye
Boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ye-ye

Ang kapal-kapal, ang kapal-kapal
Ang kapal-kapal ng bulaklak
Merong maliit, merong malaki
Merong ding mabahong bulaklak
Merong makapal, merong manipis
Na uri ng bulaklak

[Repeat CHORUS]

BRIDGE
Bulaklak (bulaklak, ang bango ng bulaklak)
Sa buhay ay kailangan nang magkakulay ang mundo
[Repeat]

[Repeat 1st Stanza]
[Repeat CHORUS twice]

Boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ye-ye [4x]

Boom Tarat Tarat (Pasko Na)
Lyrics: Lito Camo
Performed by: Willie Revillame

Ilabas mo na ang inyong tambol
Ang torotot mong itinago sa baul
Pwede kang gumamit ng kutsara’t tinidor
Habang may sumisipol

Itono mo ng ayos ang iyong gitara
Nang hindi sintunado pag ako’y kumanta
Pag nagkaroling dapat lahat ay masaya
Ang Pasko ay sasapit na

Refrain:
Pasko na, pasko na
Tayo nang magkaisa
Pasko na, pasko na
Simulan na ang saya

Chorus:
Boom tarat tarat, boom tarat tarat
Tararat tararat, boom boom boom

Kay liwanang na ng mga kalye
Nakatayo na rin ang mga christmas tree
Ang mga parol ay nakasabit na
Maging ang Christmas lights kumakanta

Ihanda nyo na rin ang mga regalo
Para sa mga batang mamamasko
Kahit laruan lang na hindi bago
Basta’t manggagaling sa puso nyo

[repeat Refrain and Chorus]

Pasko na naman sa buong mundo
Sana’y matapos na ang napakaraming gulo
Ipagdiwang natin ang pagdating ni Kristo
Sa puso ng bawat tao

[repeat Refrain and Chorus]

Pasko na, Pasko na, Pasko na

The Farmer In The Dell
Traditional Version
Written By: Unknown
Copyright Unknown

The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer in the dell

The farmer takes a wife
The farmer takes a wife
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer takes a wife

The wife takes a child
The wife takes a child
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The wife takes a child

The child takes a nurse
The child takes a nurse
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The child takes a nurse

The nurse takes a cow
The nurse takes a cow
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The nurse takes a cow

The cow takes a dog
The cow takes a dog
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cow takes a dog

The dog takes a cat
The dog takes a cat
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The dog takes a cat

The cat takes a rat
The cat takes a rat
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cat takes a rat

The rat takes the cheese
The rat takes the cheese
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The rat takes the cheese

The cheese stands alone
The cheese stands alone
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cheese stands alone

Circle Game:
Ten children (or more) join hands and dance around the FARMER, who stands in the center of the circle as they sing. At the end of the first verse,the FARMER chooses his WIFE, who joins him inside the circle. At the end of the next verse, the WIFE takes a CHILD, and so on, until the last verse when everyone is in the circle except the CHEESE, who stands alone. Whoever ends up being the CHEESE becomes the FARMER for the next round.

A Hunting We Will Go

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a fox and put him in a box
And then we’ll let him go

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a fish and put him on a dish
And then we’ll let him go

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a bear and cut his hair
And then we’ll let him go

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a pig and dance a little jig
And then we’ll let him go

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a giraffe and make him laugh
And then we’ll let him go

Do they really have to make them look so unkempt?

Ginawang katawa-tawa ang mga Igorot. Again. GMA-7 disappointed me bigtime. Four episodes of it.

At best, the story arc is inaccurate. From there it can even get offensive.

The so-called undocumented tribe in the Cordillera –

• How could there be an undocumented tribe with their so-called princess on a painting? Isn’t that already a form of documentation? And how come several city folks have been going to the place already? The grandfather who left the anting-anting, the photographer-treasure hunter who stole the amulet from his ‘beloved’ princess and lastly, the lead stars. Siguro pinicture-picture na rin nung photographer ang kanyang labs. It’s hard to be undocumented when you keep on having visitors.
• My take: They made the ‘undocumented tribe’ excuse to protect them from us who might complain. In fact, Gabriela even said, “Ano kaya salita nila? Di naman Ifugao o Kalinga…” They can then claim that the tribe is fictitious just as the series is fictitious. So we are not talking about you. However, they used a Kalinga tapis for Angel Locsin’s wedding shawl. She was also wearing an ampuyou/tolge (Ifugao wraparound skirt). So their excuse is not aceeptable to me.

There is no such thing as an Igorot princess. Royalty does not exist among the Igorot.

The dances — to be continued

I might no longer update this entry. It would be better if you judge it yourselves. I have written another article (Corporate Social Responsibility: Of Igorots and GMA-7) where you can see screen captures and maybe a link to the videos once they are available.