BELO THE BELT
THIS MAY BE THE CAMPAIGN SEASON but nobody can stop me from writing about every Filipino’s favorite pastime: Kris Aquino.
An overly-distressed Kris Aquino was rushed to the hospital after having a series of “false labor.” The stress was caused by rumors of her husband James Yap’s infidelity and her recent spat with gossip columnist Cristy Fermin. Whenever Kris is near Yap or Fermin, the baby just starts kicking.
A former female employee at the Belo Medical Clinic has surfaced and revealed sordid details of her 10-month illicit sexual affair …

Without saying much, Kris tells the whole nation that there’s something wrong with her relationship with James Yap. Check the body language. But since it’s election time, the Aquino family are maximizing James’ fluency with the Visayan languages so kasama muna siya sa pangangampanya. Makakasama ni James si Cory para tulungan si Noynoy sa mga gitnang isla ng Pilipinas. Noynoy is also supported by Erap. Whoaa!
Anyway, for James Yap, there’s always hope. I mean Hope. Di pa sila ni Kris may Hope na eh. Kaya araw-araw siyang nagpapa-facial sa Belo …

If someone in the past borrows from folk or pop culture, he shouldn’t be invoking intellectual property right. There’s this thing we call prior art.
Lito Camo gave a warning in TV Patrol: He said he has given only one politician (Zubiri) the “exclusive rights” to use “his” song as campaign jingle and will sue anyone else who uses it without his permission.
But is Boom Tarat Tarat just his song? Check the tune of The Farmer in the Dell and A Hunting We Will Go, both traditional children’s songs. Lito …

Visit OscarTorrents:
To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you — but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we’re only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn’t us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping.
You haven’t beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn’t involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can’t keep a film in …

Bulaklak
Lyrics and music by Lito Camo
Performed by Viva Hot Babes
Ang bango-bango, ang bango-bango
Ang bango-bango ng bulaklak
‘Pag inaamoy, ‘pag inaamoy
‘Pag inaamoy anong sarap
Ang bango-bango, ang sarap-sarap
Amuyin ang bulaklak
Ang laki-laki, ang laki-laki
Ang laki-laki ng bulaklak
Ang pula-pula, ang pula-pula
Ang pula-pula ng bulaklak
Ang laki-laki, ang pula-pula
Ng kulay ng bulaklak
CHORUS
Bubuka ang bulaklak, papasok ang reyna
Sasayaw ng Cha-Cha, ang saya-saya
Boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ye-ye
Boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ti-ya-ya, boom-ye-ye
Ang kapal-kapal, ang kapal-kapal
Ang kapal-kapal ng bulaklak
Merong maliit, merong malaki
Merong ding mabahong bulaklak
Merong makapal, merong manipis
Na uri ng bulaklak
[Repeat CHORUS]
BRIDGE
Bulaklak (bulaklak, ang bango ng bulaklak)
Sa buhay ay kailangan nang magkakulay ang mundo
[Repeat]
[Repeat 1st …

Boom Tarat Tarat (Pasko Na)
Lyrics: Lito Camo
Performed by: Willie Revillame
Ilabas mo na ang inyong tambol
Ang torotot mong itinago sa baul
Pwede kang gumamit ng kutsara’t tinidor
Habang may sumisipol
Itono mo ng ayos ang iyong gitara
Nang hindi sintunado pag ako’y kumanta
Pag nagkaroling dapat lahat ay masaya
Ang Pasko ay sasapit na
Refrain:
Pasko na, pasko na
Tayo nang magkaisa
Pasko na, pasko na
Simulan na ang saya
Chorus:
Boom tarat tarat, boom tarat tarat
Tararat tararat, boom boom boom
Kay liwanang na ng mga kalye
Nakatayo na rin ang mga christmas tree
Ang mga parol ay nakasabit na
Maging ang Christmas lights kumakanta
Ihanda nyo na rin …

The Farmer In The Dell
Traditional Version
Written By: Unknown
Copyright Unknown
The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer in the dell
The farmer takes a wife
The farmer takes a wife
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The farmer takes a wife
The wife takes a child
The wife takes a child
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The wife takes a child
The child takes a nurse
The child takes a nurse
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The child takes a nurse
The nurse takes a cow
The nurse takes a cow
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The nurse takes a cow
The cow takes a dog
The cow takes a dog
Hi-ho,The derry-o
The cow takes a dog
The dog takes a …

A Hunting We Will Go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a fox and put him in a box
And then we’ll let him go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go
A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go
We’ll catch a fish and put him on a dish
And then we’ll let him go
A hunting we will go, a …

Do they really have to make them look so unkempt?
Ginawang katawa-tawa ang mga Igorot. Again. GMA-7 disappointed me bigtime. Four episodes of it.
At best, the story arc is inaccurate. From there it can even get offensive.
The so-called undocumented tribe in the Cordillera –

How could there be an undocumented tribe with their so-called princess on a painting? Isn’t that already a form of documentation? And how come several city folks have been going to the place already? The grandfather who left the anting-anting, the photographer-treasure hunter who stole the amulet from …